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Why Bother with Healing, Part II

Updated: Feb 8, 2021

Sometime between 2005 and 2008, I started to feel The Discomfort, and it changed me. It’s changed my trajectory in life. It’s changed my values. It’s changed my friendships, sometimes abruptly. It’s deepened other friendships, almost as abruptly. It’s changed my (stronger and deeper) sense of self and purpose. It’s changed how I work. It’s changed how I interact with my spirituality. It’s changed how I relate to my family. (Said like Clay from The Wire) Shiiiiiiiiiiit, it’s changed who I even call family. It’s changed my understanding of my inherent value, self-worth, and purpose, so much so that it feels outlandish to think that they are doing anything, but harmoniously working together.

What is The Discomfort? I’m willing to bet 40 acres and a mule that you know what it is because you’re reading this. The specifics are manifested differently in each woman, but here are some aspects of The Discomfort I’ve noticed, in some variation, with consistency, as Black women:

· Irritability. People and situations that had not previously irritated you will get on your last nerve. The very.last.one.


· Friendships. They’ll change. Hopefully, they’ll change with some grace, but oftentimes they don’t. For some context, just watch Insecure, episodes #theveryfirstone to #now. It’s very painful and confusing, but ultimately the process to find your tribe is worth the journey.


· Jobs, Gigs, and Careers. The value you place on them and the way you want to engage in them will change. And, your bosses and colleagu